GO STRAIGHT TO…
(Astral Mermaid – Bilge Rat – Bufoboyant – Celestial Moose – Cuddle Raptor – Cyborg Gnome – Deadly Ribtickler – Duck-Billed Manticore – Gas Guzzler – Gazorbian)
Astral Mermaid
MURPHY: “You’re supposed to be charming the first mate!”
RHO: “That’s why you’re dressed as an Astral Mermaid!” – S2 E4 Mind Heist
The bane of Space Pirates and lonely aliens everywhere, Astral Mermaids are a frustrating species to most of the Universe…
Blessed with seductive fishy nethers but cursed with a humanoid torso, Astral Mermaids are forced to wrap their upper bodies in greasy newspaper to hide their unappealing halves.
Astral Mermaids famously smell of papayas.
Bilge Rat
CAPTAIN RATFACE: “The fool thought to cross the cosmic sea of the Bilge Rats without payin’ our toll!” – S2 E4 Mind Heist
The Bilge Rats roam the Cosmic Sea as the most stereotypical Space Pirates in the Universe…
A species of humanoid rat-folk. It is rumoured that they originate from a single pair of Earth rats that were shot into space hundreds of years ago. Exposed to intense radiation and with nothing better to do, they survived by evolving fast and turning to a life of crime.
Bilge Rats enjoy ratifying space treaties, ratting each other out, rattling prisoner cages, brewing ratatouille, and backgammon.
Bufoboyant
KIDZWICK: “And what is today’s Emergency Pudding…?”
NIMROD: “Victoria Sponge…! I hope there IS an emergency…!” – S2 E2 Beastly Behaviour
Bufoboyants have developed along a very peaceful line. They have never technically had a war, the closest being the Grim Passive-Aggressiveness that lasted for fourteen centuries over a poorly-trimmed hedge…
A Bufoboyant is a humanoid alien with blue, translucent skin and a bulging, balloon-like head (e.g. Norman) They are found on the planet Fedolphus. As a species, Bufoboyants are physically weak, unfailingly polite and extremely timid.
Bufoboyants speak Bufoboyese, which requires steady inflation of the head-sacs to make the right pronunciations. They have a strong poetry scene that is physically intensive due to the required sac-work; it is seen as the national sport. Most Bufoboyants can also play their head-sacs like musical instruments.
Groups of travelling ‘Well-Wishers’ are known to seek out dangerous aliens with the sole task of giving them a pleasant greeting and a crumpet, because everyone jolly well deserves a crumpet.
They were one of the first species to make contact with Humans, and the entire Bufoboyant population voted to give up their jobs to help their new neighbours.
They were instead put to work as an Earth colony developing the most valuable resource in the Universe, kittens.
Celestial Moose
BENSON: “I can’t believe we HIT A Celestial Moose!”
RHO: “Took ages to get the antlers out of the solar panels. Yeuch! This Spacesuit’s covered in Moose mousse…” – S2 E5 Programmed to Fail
Also known as Angelic Elks, Celestial Moose are majestic creatures famous for their glimmering, otherworldly bodies… and their lack of peripheral vision.
They are the national animal of Space Canada. Stories say that the Celestial Moose’s flight is powered by every polite action in the Universe, soaking up good deeds like background radiation.
The one scientist that tried to claim their flight was actually due to ‘cosmic elk farts’ was swiftly fired out of a Maple cannon.
Cuddle Raptor
YUG: “The Cuddle Raptors are pacifists. You must have worked hard for that.”
RHO: “Tell me about it! The only choice they had was to sentence me to ‘Death by Natural Causes’ and let me go with their little raptor claws crossed.” – S2 E6 The Murphy Legacy
Where predators of other worlds might disarm their prey with lights, colourful displays or pleasant smells, the Cuddle Raptors instead faked Sympathy. They evolved markings on their forehead to resemble understanding eyes filled with wisdom and sadness, and their terrifying raptor roars developed a guttural intensity that can only be roughly translated as ‘I KNOW THAT FEEL, BRO’.
Any creature having a bad day would find a shoulder to lean on, maybe a sympathetic cuddle, and an understanding nibble of their flesh.
With such a keen hunting technique, the population boomed… and starvation became imminent. The Raptors developed stomach implants and fake molars to allow the population to supplement their diet as omnivores.
However, it turned out that their herbivore prey had been so keen to talk about their feelings because every single species of vegetation on the planet was heavily psychedelic.
And thus the most peaceful nation in the Universe was born.
Cyborg Gnome
YUG: “Cyborg Gnomes… the most unsuspecting bounty hunters in the Universe…” – S2 E1 Scum of the Universe
Masters of stealth, sabotage and lawn ornamentation, Cyborg Gnomes were designed to be as unsuspecting as possible. Many targets have fallen prey to a secret Gnome trap; there are few species in the Universe that will not stop to appreciate a fine knick-knack.
So successful are these kidnappers that most traveller guides rate charity shops and antique stores as more dangerous to visit than active volcanoes.
Their pointed hats are atomic accelerators, their toadstools can deal nasty concussive blasts, and they have tiny little fishing rods too.
Cyborg Gnomes have a deadly rivalry with the Leprech-Androids. In fact, the only guaranteed escape from a Cyborg Gnome attack is to already be carrying a sack of potatoes or to be standing at the end of a rainbow.
Deadly Ribtickler
HAEMORRHAGE: “HAHAHA. HAHA-OH NO-HAHA.”
NORMAN: “That wasn’t THAT funny.”
MURPHY: “Wait… The Deadly Ribticklers are here, too!!” – S2 E1 Scum of the Universe
Bounty Hunters with a single gimmick.
Tiny, furry, sadistic creatures that will stealthily crawl up to their targets’ torso and spasm violently to disable them.
Thought to be an entire species of older siblings.
Duck-Billed Manticore
RHO: “It eats babies.”
NORMAN: “Oh no!!!”
RHO: “It’s fine! WE ain’t babies!” – S2 E2 Beastly Behaviour
The Duck-Billed Manticore is a species often cited by philosophers as being significant proof of a higher life-form creating the Universe. After all, natural selection could not explain the lazy jumble of last-minute panic that is the Duck-Billed Manticore.
The Manticore is a bizarre combination of many alien species. Manticore eggs are planted in the nest of any other species they can find, much like the cuckoo of Earth. The Manticores seem to believe they are stealthily invading a family for home and food.
However, in almost all cases the adopted alien parents and siblings are painfully aware of the Manticore’s insertion, but are so stunned by the creature’s bizareness that they will simply not mention its obvious presence and play along instead, until such time as it graduates and leaves the nest.
Gas Guzzler
KIDZWICK: “This is a member of the ‘Gas Guzzler’ species! He used to be called ‘Mr. Fart-Quaffer’. Ugh… Now we just call him Kevin.” – S2 E2 Beastly Behaviour
A species infamous for eating the farts of others. Otherwise known as Toot Tasters, Guff Gorgers and Those Who Smelt It, Salted It and Baked It At 200 degrees.
To no one’s surprise, Gas Guzzlers have the most un-successful confectionary chain in the Universe, including such favourites as Guff Muffins, Whiff Waffles, Fruity Tooties, and Pop Tarts.
Gazorbian
MURPHY: “We get the Gazorbian debates! Mac Hazard versus Dr. Impact, a fight to the death over Urban Infrastructure!” – S2 E3 Wisdom & Widdelnauts
As a species, Gazorbians are incredibly over-dramatic as a result of their impressively short attention spans.
With the population’s political engagement floundering and voter turnout at an all-time low, the Gazorbians decided that the only way to engage their population in the important matters of the day was to make their politics the most entertaining show in the Universe.
Gazorbians have become so desensitised to this level of intensity that everything else had to follow suit; on a single daily commute, a Gazorbian will have a rap battle about the day’s weather, discover a long-lost but secretly plotting relative AND shout ‘I OBJECT’ at no less than six different weddings.
Gorrian Meatgrinder to Palindrone (S2)
Public-Indecency-Saurus to Widdelnaut (S2)
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